Organic Food.

Today, I met the girl of my dreams, acquired her number, and threw it away. That last one was on purpose. Yeah, I just summed up this entire post in the first sentence. That was wrong of me, and I apologize. I will rewind and play this thing out from the beginning. I just thought you might like to first see where this story is going before you commit to riding it out. Besides, some of my favorite movies are the ones that start out with the ending and work forward.

I got a call from one of my good friends who I have lunch with about once a week. I asked him about lunch plans for the day. He said his mother was in town, and would be coming along. I met them at a place called Leaf Cuisine: An organic, vegan, raw restaurant. My friend's mom only eats that kind of food, so we had to go along with it. I didn’t mind. When it comes to food, I will try anything once.

We were standing in line looking at this menu that might as well have been written in Japanese because I didn’t understand what any of it was. There were also no pictures anywhere in the joint, so I was pretty much out of luck anyway you looked at it. My friend was in the bathroom, and his mom was behind me in line on her cell phone. So, I tapped the girl ahead of me in line on the shoulder, and asked her if she had ever eaten this stuff before. My luck had just changed. Not only was she extremely beautiful, she was very knowledgeable of everything on the menu. She got really excited to tell me all about it too. On and on she went: “The hummus is amazing, and so is the Pad Thai, oh and I really like the Rawsagna. If this is your first time you might want to try the Mock Salmon or the Caesar Wrap.” I was far too busy observing how her already adorable face lit up even more when she was telling me about the food, that I missed most of her descriptions. It was her turn to order and I was next, so I looked back up to the menu for a recap. The only word I recognized was Caesar. I’ve had a few Caesar Salad’s in my day, I figured they couldn’t fuck that up too badly. The employee asked if I wanted it as a salad or a wrap. What? You’re going to put my salad inside a tortilla? Sure, why not.

Cute Girl got her organic food to go, so she just sat at the bar until her order was ready and headed out. I got a table for the three of us, and was waiting for the food. I noticed over by the bar that Cute Girl had left her bag on the floor. I grabbed it, and took off after her. She was already making her way back for it, and we met half way in the parking lot. I’m not sure if she was more excited to see her bag or me, because she jumped straight back into the weird food conversation. “How did you like your wrap?” I told her that my order hadn’t come up yet, but I was looking forward to trying something new. She went on to tell me about how she usually eats there 3-4 times a week, and gave me her number. She said if I was ever there again and wanted company, she would love to join me. Wow, what an amazing girl. Very pretty, forward, and cares about what she eats. I couldn't wait to find out more about her.

When I went back inside my food was waiting at the table: A bunch of small lettuce wrapped up inside of one big leaf of lettuce. No tortilla? I took one bite of it, sat it down and walked over to the trash can. Not just because I wanted to vomit, but to throw that lying bitch’s phone number away. There is no way in hell I could date a girl who would make me eat that shit 4 times a week.

AJ