Something for Everyone

While Friend and his brother were at the baseball game, I decided
that I also needed to get on a plane and fly off to do something
entertaining. Get away for a day, and do something that I actually
found interesting. It’s not that I think baseball is the most boring
sport in the world, golf is. Baseball is number two, and it even
duked it out with NASCAR there for a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I would never watch any of them, but if I had to…I think I will side with this redneck I was forced to sit next to at a bar one time back in
college. He said he could sit and bare the sight of a bunch of cars
driving really fast around the exact same fucking circle for five
hours just for the small chance that one of them might crash into
another car causing a massive pile up of destruction and death.

Personally, I will take my money to Vegas. And I did. I had my driver
pick up Jeff, my set designer, and we headed out within the hour.
That’s the great thing about LA, Vegas is just a three and half hour
drive away. However, that drive sucks on the way home if you didn’t
win any money. Since I’m not the greatest gambler in the world, I
just started flying.

Jeff was killing it at the roulette table, and I was almost to the
point to where if I kept going, I was going to have to sign over my
house to the Bellagio. Since I love my new house, I left Jeff in the
casino and went walking around the shops. I was enjoying a Wetzel’s
Pretzel Dog while sitting on a bench located right in front of Prada
and Gucci. I thought back to college when I was young and broke, and
used to see stores like that and say to myself “If I were rich, I
would buy all my girlfriends a Prada Bag and give it to them looking
like a total badass in some Gucci Sunglasses.” Now, that I am rich I
don’t buy any of that shit. I spend all my money on art, and
investments, and tons of other things that would seem totally boring
to the non-rich.

When you’re a filmmaker, the word “boring” cannot be associated with you in any way possible or people will refuse to pay 14 dollars to watch your work. So my pretzel dog and I went into both Prada and
Gucci and made some rather large purchases. I stocked up on them
equally. I figured with Halloween right around the corner, I could
give each kid that came trick-or-treating at my house a Prada Bag
with a pair of Gucci sunglasses inside. This way, when Tobey Maguire
thinks he’s the cool guy on the block cause he’s giving out regular
Butterfinger bars instead of the fun sized ones, the kids will just
tell Spiderman that his candy is almost as boring as his love scenes
with Mary Jane.

AJ