And Twins

I had my assistant set me up a lunch with the Olsen Twins. I was in the mood for sushi. I started the conversation with the twins by saying, “Listen, I’m going to win one of you an Oscar. I don’t care which one of you it is, just decide later and let me know.” This town can get upset with me if they want, but I am sick of them both showing up on set to play one character. They split the scenes, do half the work, and take home twice the money. Fuck that. I’m ready to do a movie that breaks up the monotony of a single fertilized egg splitting into two.

They didn’t act like it during the lunch, but I have a feeling that they are both secretly jazzed about the opportunity to escape their all of the sudden not so interesting lives. They’re twins, we get it…and now were over it. They have to be sick of doing movies together anyways. How old would it get to continue hearing different variations of this pitch: “Ok, you two play twin sisters on the cheerleading squad and you have both fallen for the captain of the football team and he cant tell you apart and… NEXT!

I really hope that one of them just isn’t in the mood for signing contracts this week. I’d hate to have to audition them both for the same part. How awkward would that be? It’s not like I can tell Mary-Kate that she didn’t have the look I was going for, she competed against an exact replica. Personally, I like the ring “Ashley Olsen” has to it better, but it’s unfair for me to take that kind of bias just because I know they will call out her name in the Kodak Theater come February. I guess it would be more diplomatic to just flip a coin.

AJ