October Baseball

I never thought I’d see the day when it would be ten degrees hotter in NYC than LA in the middle of October. Well it is my friends, and we’re living it. I’m in NYC scouting locations aka going to the Yankees game. I’ve been a Red Sox fan all my life and after catching the sweep in Anaheim yesterday I decided to take the red eye to NYC to watch Joe Torre lose his job. Steinbrenner claims that Torre is gone if he loses the series. He said that to the media before the Yankees are even finished with the series.

Do you have any idea how wonderfully great that is? What if I told the LA Times that if my movie doesn’t make it’s money back the director will never work in this town again before the production started. I’ve always wanted to buy a baseball team. Don’t get me wrong I’m doing pretty well in the money department, but I would have to put up the studio as collateral and Friend wouldn’t be to keen on that idea because he doesn’t really care for the sport.

I’ve got a lot of great ideas to bring fan interest back to baseball. Okay, number one: one game a year I have a midget play shortstop. Even if you hate baseball you would have to come to the game to watch a midget play shortstop. Number two: for one at bat a year the baseball will be switched for a grenade. Spice things up a bit. Number three: first five thousand attendees get a free steroid syringe. Number four: each inning the drunkest member in each section gets the microphone to heckle players in the stadium. Number five: every game we give away something that we know will be thrown on the field at the opposing players, but we still make an announcement not to throw things on the field. We'll have battery give away, and free baseball sunday and free Ninja throwing star tuesday. Okay, I’ve really got to get this production schedule in order. Investors are getting pissed because we haven’t casted it, and we’re really falling behind schedule because the prostitute role is still up in the air.

LD