WGA Strike 3

I’m not going to put my two cents into the strike because that’s been done a million times before. Everyone has something to say that is going to cure it and/or keep it going. The strike is old news, and we really don’t care about it anymore. I’ll tell you this…without writers Hollywood is nothing. Writers are the architects of the system and without them the house is going to fall constantly.

I’m a member of the WGA and have been for over fifteen years. Where does that leave me? I’m a studio head who occasionally needs to put a script out to the public. Do I need the WGA to advocate for me in a confrontation? No. I’ve got an in house legal team to do that sort of thing for me. I’m licensed by the California Bar. I pay my dues every year. So why am I a member of the WGA? To show support.

Do I buy into the whole don’t prolong this strike by not going around the system? No I don’t. Studio X keeps going because we will it to keep going. We’ve got rooms in the studio filled with scripts that are just waiting to get made. Do you not think that every underling assistant in the building wants to be a writer? You’re damn straight they do, and I’ll bet that if we put ten of them together they can probably come up with an idea to make the script work if we shoot in Vegas instead of Columbia.

I know what it’s like to be a starving writer, and I know what it’s like to be a rich producer. And I know what it’s like to be a mega-rich studio head. At the end of the day we all work together for a common goal. They have to get what they want, and I’ll lend my full support but the show must go on. I’m not going to shut down our television wing just because writers want royalties on dvd sales. Should they get them? Absolutely.

To be honest with you, I have no idea why I’m even writing this now. I have to write eight new television shows right after I revoke my WGA membership. I’ll join back up after the fray if they’ll have me. Don’t worry. They’ll take me back because they want their writers to have jobs when the strike is over.

Tours Shmours

Like I said, I have never actually been on our Studio’s organized tours. I didn’t even know how much we charged for that sort of thing until last Wednesday when I decided to go on the tour myself. Thirty-five bucks. Add that to the cost of the new Ray-Bans and hat I bought to keep from being recognized and we’re looking at a cool two hundred bucks just to have fun. But, I spend close to that amount on dinner at least three nights every week, so fuck it.

I noticed a while back that the Tour’s Shuttle bus always passed by the building with our offices, and depending on the Tour guide, they would point out my assigned parking space and say something like “That’s where the CEO’s park.” So I made sure I drove my new Porsche Carrera GT to work that day. I usually drive a hybrid to help out the environment, but this city’s smog problem is already way passed the point of preventative concern, so again, fuck it. (I swear that’s the last time I’m going to end a paragraph like that)

I’m on the tour, sitting in the back of the Shuttle, and our guide starts throwing out questions left and right. What is the studio’s longest running TV show? Who directed Studio X’s first movie? What actor has appeared in the most movies produced by Studio X? It was hard to not respond. Of course I knew all the answers to questions about my own studio. Right or wrong, I was still letting the other people on the tour answer the questions as we were moving along. We’ll at least until one of the last questions. The guide asked if anyone knew what a Foley Artist was. This one guy up front who had already answered 3 questions incorrectly said “Ugh, yeah he’s the guy deals with the Lighting on a set” “WRONG! JACKASS!” I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Plus I felt sorry for the poor girl giving the tour having to put up with his ignorance. I think her name was Amanda.

I took off the hat and shades, apologized for the outburst, and introduced myself. I told Amanda to have a seat, and that I would be driving the shuttle for the rest of the tour. I got on the intercom and told the group that this was their lucky day. For the first and only time in history, they would be receiving a never before seen tour given by one of the CEO’s.

I was driving the hell out of that shuttle. Something I have never done before, so I was just thinking of all the places on the lot I could take them. I eventually asked Amanda what else she would do if she were still driving and she said, “Nothing Sir, you’ve done everything I would have done if I were giving a tour.” Well, that pissed me off. I thought I was doing something special and showing off things not normally on the tour. So I drove the tour group right up to the door of the gift shop, and told them that anything they wanted out of there was on me. I also told Amanda if she could beat that surprise ending on her Tour Guide wages I would permanently trade jobs with her. New cost of having fun: $3,649.18. Fuck it.

AJ

Visitors

Dear Readers,

Had another unexpected visitor pass through town. Taking them out, but I wanted to go ahead and fill your heads with anticipation. Yesterday, I took my own studio tour incognito. I will tell you all about it before I tuck myself in for bed.

AJ

Sent from my iPhone